First of all, I'm not 100% sure how you have sex with a lamp post - and secondly, I've reported at least two separate fire hydrants in my city that have attacked me without provocation, and nothing has been done.  I find it interesting that there apparently has been a spate of these sorts of crimes in the UK - a bicycle, Henry Hoover statue, you name it, it's been screwed as of late.  Which is why I'm proud to be an American.  Simply stated, we may blow shit up, but we don't fondle municiple property.   You can read the whole story at the link below:

A 32-year-old man has been arrested in Wiltshire for allegedly simulating a sex act with a lamp-post.# Worker caught having sex with Henry Hoover Man who had sex with bicycle sentenced The incident is the latest in a spate of bizarre sex crimes involving inanimate objects. LamppostThe incident was witnessed by childrenA police spokesman said officers were called to a road in the town of Westbury on February 16 after they received a report of a man acting indecently outside a block of flats "occupied by several young women".When they arrived they arrested him on suspicion of outraging public decency.The man was released on bail, but following an investigation into the incident and several interviews with witnesses - including children - he was recalled for questioning. He has since been re-released pending further inquiries.

Man arrested for 'having sex with lamp-post' - Telegraph

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